Praise Report

 Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:4

After 2 months of not knowing where my oldest son is, this week I learned that he is back in Michigan. 
My heart is relieved. 
I had dreams of him sleeping on the street, and of being told that he was killed. 
This could have sent me spiraling. But I got on my knees and gave my fears to the Lord. 
I still do.
Because that's what parenting is. It is continuing to pray for our adult children. 
I also recently visited with my youngest son. He is 21 and lives about an hour away from me. He is adulting as best he can. It did my heart good to lay eyes on him, to see him smile...and to hear of his concerns. He has dealt with anxiety for awhile now, and our visit affirmed that I am to continue praying for him in that area. 
I don't know where I got the notion that once my children hit adulthood that they would fly, armed with the advice and teachings we gave, ready to take on the world and handle their own problems. 
Yes, to a certain extent. But they still need guidance. And I'm learning that I may not always be the one to give that guidance...but my Heavenly Father can. He wants to help, but we need to be real with Him and not try to handle our issues on our own. Apart from God and in our own strength, we can do nothing. But in Him and through Him, we can do all things! (Philippians 4:13)
My oldest son is still not communicating with me, and that's ok. As of today and in this moment, I have the blessed assurance that he is ok and trying to make it on his own. 
As for me, I have peace...because I continue to lift them up and place them at the feet of my Savior. He loves them more than I ever could. 

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I thank and praise You for blessing me to be a mother. I ask you to open the eyes of parents everywhere who have adult children in need of prayers. May we seek your face and intercede for our adult children as You lead us to. Thank you for hearing and answering prayers. In the name of Jesus, Amen. 

Train Up a Child

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

I guess I'm learning that I have to let go. 

My son is still out there. I can't get to him and I don't know where he is. I hope he is making good choices for himself. 

At 21 and 25, my sons are not little boys. I did what I could to teach them about the Lord. I showed them my faith in hard situations. We had home Bible lessons. We attended church, and I taught Vacation Bible School. 

My prayer has been and continues to be that my sons would know Jesus for themselves. I don't want them to follow Him "because Mama said so," but because they want to. And I have to realize that it is their choice. I did what I could to lead and show my faith, but at the end of the day, it's their lives. 

Like all parents, I have my flaws. I didn't always model good Christian behavior. But that's also part of showing them the walk with the Lord. Perfection isn't expected; faith and obedience are. 

Lord, I praise You for blessing me to be a mother! May my sons reap the faith seeds planted in them during their youth. May they know You, follow You, and be men after Your own heart. 

Where is My Child?

(from my journal dated May 26, 2022) 

My son moved to Colorado yesterday. 

We didn’t part on the best terms. I was against this move. We have no family there. I don't know where he is or who he is with. He was jobless when he left. So many thoughts and "what ifs" are running through my mind. How is he supporting himself?

I’ve been emotional all week. For the first time in my life, I don’t know where my child is. 
To clarify, ok, he’s 25, so he’s not technically a child. But he is MY child and always will be. 
People say let him be a man. I want both of my sons to be self-sufficient, productive members of society. To pay their bills, to take care of their families, to be men after God’s own heart.
 I have prayed and cried, prayed and cried. 

But God. He assures me they were His before they were mine. My faith tells me that everything will work together for the good (Romans 8:28) so I cling to that. I have prayed for my sons to know the Lord experientially, so maybe this is part of that process.
 

Father God, help me with this.